Well I've come back to Australia after my almost-2-year-overseas-adventure. Mostly because of my father's serious ill health and missing my daughter. The better economic structure of Aust is a bonus even though in the last 2 months I haven't found a job. Seems they want about 2-5yrs experience for each job I have qualifications for, but none will hire me to GET that experience. Very frustrating. And volunteer work will cost money to do their training courses...
Unfortunately, on top of this, my brand spanking new husband (since last March) has had to stay behind in the UK until his visa application is approved. We are waiting and hoping for it's approval. I know we're not the only ones waiting, but it's so hard being apart when newly married! Ok granted we lived together for 14 months or thereabouts, but with limited internet as well it's been hard.
He's my rock, my support I cling to, and not having him here is hard. I know people say we should be all independent, and I mostly am, but if you cannot lean on your spouse who the hell can you? We all need time when we're not the strong one, when we need down time and need someone else to keep the nasties from the door.
With all the emphasis on independence and standing alone, I think that could be why we always DO feel alone. What ever happened to inter-dependence? I think when co-dependence came out everyone got so scared of the 'co-dependent big bad' that anything other than independence was seen as a nono. But you can stand alongside someone. Support them when they need it and vice versa. You don't need to play games, or be passive aggressive (ugh I hate that). It doesn't make you weak and it shouldn't be frowned upon.
I think some people (probably me included!) have gone into some relationships determined to stay independent and resolute. To protect ourselves from future pain, or because of memories of past pain, or out of habit. No wonder we feel isolated in relationships.
My lovely husband has patiently helped me through all that, and let me see in my own time that he is a safe place to fall. That he will have my back and I his. While we can cope and interact independently, just knowing he has my back has led to me feeling more secure than probably ever before.
Thank you honey.
I can't wait to show you Australia!
Unfortunately, on top of this, my brand spanking new husband (since last March) has had to stay behind in the UK until his visa application is approved. We are waiting and hoping for it's approval. I know we're not the only ones waiting, but it's so hard being apart when newly married! Ok granted we lived together for 14 months or thereabouts, but with limited internet as well it's been hard.
He's my rock, my support I cling to, and not having him here is hard. I know people say we should be all independent, and I mostly am, but if you cannot lean on your spouse who the hell can you? We all need time when we're not the strong one, when we need down time and need someone else to keep the nasties from the door.
With all the emphasis on independence and standing alone, I think that could be why we always DO feel alone. What ever happened to inter-dependence? I think when co-dependence came out everyone got so scared of the 'co-dependent big bad' that anything other than independence was seen as a nono. But you can stand alongside someone. Support them when they need it and vice versa. You don't need to play games, or be passive aggressive (ugh I hate that). It doesn't make you weak and it shouldn't be frowned upon.
I think some people (probably me included!) have gone into some relationships determined to stay independent and resolute. To protect ourselves from future pain, or because of memories of past pain, or out of habit. No wonder we feel isolated in relationships.
My lovely husband has patiently helped me through all that, and let me see in my own time that he is a safe place to fall. That he will have my back and I his. While we can cope and interact independently, just knowing he has my back has led to me feeling more secure than probably ever before.
Thank you honey.
I can't wait to show you Australia!